Are leaders born or are they developed?

Many believe that some people are born with the ability to lead, and others believe that leaders develop skills over time that enable them to lead. It is true that some people are born with a personality type that makes it easier to lead, but the obvious answer is leaders develop their skills over time. Some may have the opportunity to practice certain skills more than others, so they appear to be born leaders. However, it is the exposure to specific skills and the chance to practice these skills in different situations that create strong leaders.

According to the Center for Creative Leadership,  all great leaders share the following characteristics: integrity, ability to delegate, communication, self-awareness, gratitude, competence, influence, empathy, courage, and respect. Additionally, more characteristics get added to this list by author Clinton McLemore in Inspiring Trust, Strategies for Effective Leadership, including: intellect, stability, emotional intelligence, motivation, flexibility, and assertiveness. How can anyone possibly possess all of these competencies? Yet, we have all encountered leaders who hold many, if not all, of these characteristics.

Consider leaders you encountered throughout your lifetime, a beloved teacher, coach, or boss. Most likely, you admired this leader and wanted to emulate what you saw.  You remember them for the important and meaningful role they played in your life. They connected with you on many levels and probably inspired you to be your best self. So, how did they become leaders who possess all of these skills? They weren’t born that way, nor did they one day decide to lead. They developed these traits throughout their childhood by witnessing strong leaders and then practicing the skills as they grew into adults. 

Why is it important to develop these characteristics?

When children acquire the characteristics related to leadership, they reap the benefits  throughout their life. The ability to make independent decisions, help others, and achieve goals are connected to leadership skills. Throughout middle school and high school, students with these competencies are more successful and possess a higher self-esteem. They tend to be happier, more confident, and more motivated. As adults, leadership skills assist with job satisfaction, promotion, community involvement, and overall well being. According to the Journal of Leadership Education, many universities now seek students with leadership experience, and employers are also looking for people with leadership skills.

What can parents do to help their children develop these skills so they can become great leaders?

First, children need to witness good leadership, and that begins with you. Children learn through example and parents are their very first and most influential example. Parenting style matters, and so does parents’ connections with others. Your parenting style should be authoritative where there are high expectations, yet you allow your kids to fail. You should be supportive and responsive to their needs while setting strict boundaries and consistently enforcing rules. Allow children to witness positive and honest interactions with friends, co-workers, and retail workers. When parents treat others with warmth and compassion, children learn to do the same. Children internalize these interactions and will emulate them throughout life.

Children will also internalize how you approach problems. They should witness you wrestle with conflicts so they will know how to approach issues. It is a natural tendency for children to imitate what they see, so they should observe their parents facing and coping with challenges. Parents do not need to pretend that life is perfect, nor do they need to shield their children from understanding that challenges are a part of life. If children witness their parents coping with problems honestly, with all the anxiety and stress, it demonstrates the realities of life. Facing the problem authentically rather than hiding it from children, demonstrates how problems are overcome. So, when children face a challenge, they have the confidence to confront it head on. They understand that coping with a problem is not the end of the world, but a part of everyday life. The skills needed to solve problems connect to the skills needed to lead.

When children witness their parents connecting with others, treating people with compassion, and dealing with conflicts in a responsible manner, they see leaders. They internalize these characteristics, and this helps to build their self-esteem. According to Bobi Seredich, in an article entitled, Why Self-esteem is Critical to Successful Leadership, she states, “High self-esteem is not created by receiving praise all the time or listening to motivational talks, but it is built in having connections with others and realizing that setbacks are opportunities to grow…” Those with high self-esteem are not threatened by others’ opinions or ideas, and they welcome diverse thinking. Having a high self-esteem works conjointly with building leadership skills.

More than ever, we need strong leaders who can problem solve, show compassion, and connect with others. Every individual has the potential to be a leader. Each child has strengths and weaknesses, but overall, leadership skills can be developed through exposure and practice. It begins with parents setting the examples and educators following suit.