stress

Keeping Patience During Stressful Times

/ Ritamarie Hensley / Leave a comment

Patience is a virtue we all could spend time practicing a little more. Both parents and kids experience stress, and when they experience it at the same time, knowing strategies to cope with the chaos will help the entire family. It is important to try to stay calm, but counting to 10 might only help for about 10 seconds. With warmer weather arriving soon, the routine you’ve created for your family will be disrupted, so you and your kids may struggle with the change.

Here are a few tips for how to keep your patience as you face all of the changes coming your way.

First, what is patience? For most, patience is the ability to remain calm in a stressful situation. Rather than yelling or cursing, patience allows you to respond appropriately and effectively to the situation.

Establish a Routine

Parents who like to keep an orderly household, the return to school will feel overwhelming at first because the routine you’ve established over the last several months is now very different. But, rather than feeling overwhelmed, try to establish a new routine that fits your family. The new routine will also help to settle your child. Your child needs to feel the security of a routine. He should know what you expect him to do when he gets home from school. Make sure he has some time outside for exercise and fresh air. Establish a regular routine before bed, and make sure your child (and yourself) gets to bed the same time each night.

Understand Your Child’s Stress

Returning to school can be very stressful for your child. Even if he is excited about the possibility of being with his friends, he no longer has the comforts of being at home with you. He no longer has access to his bedroom, his stuff, or his daily routine. Keep in mind that your child can sense your stress, so it is important to keep it in check while everything abruptly changes for the entire family.

Additionally, your child may experience stress from not only the change in routine but academically. He may find himself struggling with specific subjects. Sitting in class with so many distractions may take its toll on his learning. You don’t want him to fall too far behind and continue down this path of stress and anxiety. If you don’t have time, patience or the knowledge to help, find a tutor that can take some of the stress away. Your child will receive one-on-one attention, and you can rest assured he will no longer fall further behind in school.

Know Your Own Triggers

As you try to practice patience, keep in mind your own triggers. With the change in the daily routine, you will more likely be tired. When people are tired, they are usually a little grumpier and their fuse is short. With the understanding that you are tired, also know that your child is tired. Everyone will probably overreact to silly occurrences, yet as the parent, you need to recognize the source.

Try to combat the tiredness by getting everyone, including you, to bed early.  If you allow yourself to have 7 or 8 hours of sleep, you will soon feel refreshed, and the routine will feel easy. Also, get outside for some fresh air and exercise. These simple strategies can help you stay calm even if your child is throwing a tantrum about cleaning his room.

If you do overreact, it’s okay. Once you’ve calmed down, give yourself some time to reflect. Then, have a discussion with your child and problem-solve his choices or apologize if you went too far.

Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help

If after a few weeks, you still feel overwhelmed, ask other parents how they’re doing with the change in routine. They may be able to provide some of their own tips, or they may also need someone to talk to about the added stress.

Remember, everyone needs self-care. But, often it is the parent who neglects his or her own needs. Once your family’s routine has been established and your child is regularly attending school, take some time to do something you love. It may only be for an hour or two but allow yourself some time to reward yourself for getting to this point.

The Anxiety of Returning to School

/ Ritamarie Hensley / Leave a comment
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The Anxiety of Returning to School

Young people are experiencing anxiety and depression more than any other age group. Students experience stress and anxiety during a normal school year, so with the pandemic, monkey pox, inflation, and all of the uncertainty, it is important to pay attention and look for signs that your child is struggling.

For those returning to school in a few weeks, the anxiety and fear can be palpable. It is important to understand that anxiety is the most common emotional problem in children. Kids can develop crippling worries about many things, from germs to taking a test, to their parents dying. Some anxious kids are painfully shy and avoid things that other kids enjoy. Some have tantrums and meltdowns, and others develop elaborate rituals, like compulsive hand washing or scratching.

As a parent you may be experiencing anxiety in your own life as you struggle with the present economy. This anxiety may cause sleepless nights, headaches, and irritability. Your child sees what is happening to you and can sense your anxiety. It is important to talk to your child and let her know that everything will be okay. Most likely, your child may be worried about separating from you when she returns to school.

Similar to adults, children with anxiety may become irritable and angry. They also might have outbursts and have trouble sleeping. Their physical symptoms might include fatigue, headaches, or stomachaches. Some children keep their worries to themselves, so you may miss symptoms. Whether you notice symptoms or not, the suggestions below will help your child with reducing anxiety as she faces the many changes ahead.  

Validate Feelings

You must validate your child’s feelings while also reassuring her that everything will be okay. It is not the time to brush it off or dismiss feelings that may seem small to you. Allow your child to explain exactly what is causing the stress. Is she afraid of getting sick? Is she worried about being separated from you? Is she concerned that she won’t make friends? Whatever the fear, allow her to talk about it. You need to acknowledge it but also let her know that it is going to be okay. If she explains that she is going to miss you, then tell her that you’ll miss her too. Express your confidence that she can return to school and have a great experience. Also, explain that so many other children are also feeling the same way; she is not in this alone.

Set the Tone

You want to be positive with your child about returning to school. It is not the time to ask probing questions or show your own anxiety, but it is the time to discuss all of the fun it will be to see her friends and her teacher. You need to lead the charge and talk about the exciting things that will take place at school. You can also explain what you’ll be doing, so that she knows you also have things to do. If you are separating from a younger child, you may want to give her a little reminder from home. You could let her have a puzzle piece or a stone. It should be small but something that can remind her of home. Also, remind her that the school day is not that long and after learning so much and having fun, the day will pass by quickly and soon it will be time for dinner.

Create a Routine

Over the last several months, you’ve created a routine with your child. Now is the time to establish a new one. Routines help children feel safe and secure, so establish your new routine quickly. You want your child to know she can count on certain things to occur. After the school day, give her time for a snack and then let her get started on her homework. She can have time on the computer, outside, or watching a television show. Establish the routine that makes sense for your family; however, you must also be flexible. Schools may close again and return to remote at any time, so prepare your child for the possibility.

There is no one-size-fits-all solution for anxiety. But, the general strategies above will help you and your child work through it no matter what the future holds.

For More Information: Signs of Anxiety in Young Kids